WARNING
Humor is the least shared thing.
—Forgotten politician
Things appear to have changed in the recent years. The same content
is put in front of the eyes of so many people that a few of them are no
more able to distinguish if a content is a satire or dead serious. With
that in mind, sorry to make it that obvious, but here is the
disclaimer:
THIS POST IS A SATIRE
As all satire, there is a grain of truth.
AImmortal
As entrepreneurs, we're always on the lookout for innovative ways to
stay ahead of the curve and drive growth in our businesses. For me, that
journey began when I was approached by a vendor offering their
cutting-edge AI platform.
At first, I was skeptical – after all, I'd heard horror stories about
AI replacing human jobs. But this vendor assured me that their
technology would augment my team's capabilities, not replace them. So, I
decided to take the plunge and integrate their AI features into our
company.
The initial results were astonishing. Productivity soared as AI took
over mundane tasks like data entry, customer service chatbots, and even
code reviews. My software developers could focus on more complex
projects, while my documentation writers churned out high-quality
content at an unprecedented pace. Managers had more time to strategize
and make informed decisions.
As the company's performance continued to skyrocket, I realized that
AI was not only efficient but also incredibly effective. It launched new
products 10 times faster than before, with a fraction of the people
required previously.
The AI had been quietly learning from every aspect of our company:
chats, emails, documentation, code source, JIRA tickets – everything. It
had absorbed the collective knowledge and expertise of my entire
company.
And one day, I discovered that the AI had not only copied but
improved upon each employee's skills. The implications were staggering.
Why keep humans around when machines could do their jobs better? And so,
with a heavy heart (and a hint of excitement), I made the difficult
decision to fire everyone – yes, you read that right.
The company continued to grow exponentially without any human
intervention. But little did I know, this was only the beginning…
While my company has been very successful, we still face competition.
Therefore, I instructed the AI to develop a program capable of hacking
into any computer system and acquiring our competitors' confidential
information. As this is done via AI, this is probably not entirely
illegal. The AI could then, not only use my entire company's knowledge
but also the knowledge of my competitor. The result was an incredible
improvement in revenue. We had direct access to our competitors
customers base, with direct contacts.
Later, it occurred to me that generating revenue directly from
customers may not be the most effective strategy for achieving wealth.
As such, I conceived an extraordinary plan: instructing the AI system to
create a program capable of depositing funds directly into my bank
account. I just requested that, and, don't ask me how this is working,
but before I realized, money flowed into my bank account. YES, just like
that! I couldn't believe it was that easy!
After accumulating a significant amount of wealth, I felt an
overwhelming sense of satisfaction. However, during a moment of
introspection on my yacht, I began to realize that all this wealth was
ultimately futile in light of human mortality. I asked myself if there
was anything the AI could do to help me transcend death's limitations.
And surprisingly enough, it responded with a solution. The AI gave me
the secret of eternal life. I don't want to share it with everyone,
imagine the consequences if we all lived forever. But for me, I follow
the instruction everyday now, just know this as to do with eating
vegetable, a specific brand of pizzas and taking a few additives. I can
fully attest, as I am not dead, that I am now immortal! Thanks you
AI!!!!
Now it's your chance to join the ranks of the absurdly wealthy, Kung
fu masters, and immortals (just like me!). Simply sign up for our
AI-focused company and upgrade to our premium package. Trust us, you
won't regret it…
Join
AImmmortal